That’s how I’m feeling. Maudlin and alone, like a grandparent whose family doesn’t really have the time or inclination to visit. But that’s only a part of it because the situation I’m in is of my own making, and people do reach out to me, just in the wrong ways.
Catholic god love them, are trying to fix this the only way they know, which is to be domineering and steadfastly traditional.
My friends, whose help I would like but that would mean bringing them into my problems and troubles when they’ve got enough of their own. I keep disappointing them by my foolishness but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to see them. I just miss talking to someone at least somewhat honestly and participating in life.
As soon as I admit to myself that I’m not ready to take on the world just yet.